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2-3-4, I got them conference call blues


Conference calls are enough to drive anyone to drink

We started Clique because the average conference call begins 7 minutes late and 2 people short. This fact of business life frustrated the Cliquesters for countless hours over even more countless years. Thankfully, one of the Cliquesters cataloged his thoughts during those dark times before Clique. Sometimes, when we need inspiration, we go to the back of the bookshelf, brush off the dust, and open this tome for a jolt back to more frustrating times.

Times, truth be told, that could have driven us to the bottle.

5 things I could be doing if I wasn't looking for a conference call PIN

It's almost ten o'clock in the morning. I've managed to pause my work, and set aside 15 minutes to 2 hours for a conference call with the boss, the other boss, and the boss' boss' consultant's cat, or someone; the invite didn't have an agenda. I'm a little nervous and most likely over-caffeinated. I've been preparing for this meeting for days, even though I'm not sure of the subject.

But there's a big problem: I can't find my access PIN.

You know, the number that the boss said she would have HR email me to ensure access to this very important call. That PIN. The one I said I'd follow up on but didn't because I was too busy working.

The call starts in fifteen minutes and I'm frantically dialing HR. Wait, why is HR managing this call, am I going to get canned? Nobody is responding and the bosses are probably angry. This was all avoidable.

As the search for this PIN increasingly feels counterproductive, I can't help but think of some things I could be doing with my time right now instead.

For example...

1. My job

I could be working: filing TPS reports, or talking to the customers so the engineers don't have to. This one is a little obvious, I suppose.

2. Clean out the refrigerator in the break room

I don't know what's been living in that ball of foil on the middle shelf for over a month, and I don't want to know, but I'm willing to find out.

3. Look for other lost things

I haven't seen my "Tall, Dark and Bitter" coffee thermos in days. If I find it on the mail guy's desk again, I'm going to get mad.

4. Do burpees in the hallway

HR says they want us to incorporate "wellness" into our daily routines; burpees are great exercise for the over-caffeinated.

5. Work on inventing the next great communication platform.

Or at least Google it. There has to be a better way to conference than this. And, without the song and dance.

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